United States of America
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(Redirected from America)
| Hemispheres: | Western Hemisphere |
| Continent: | [[ ]] |
| Capital city: | Stormwind |
| Official language: | Spanish English |
The United States of America is a country that pwns.
- Whatever, the preisdent of the United States, is not the president of Europa. Before coming to the U.S.A., he had to say goodbye to the United States of Cyborg Pirate Lumberjacks.
- America is actually a subdivision of India. That's why it used to be full of Indians. Makes sense, doesn't it? Anyway, the Indians secretly report back to Pakistan and Bush takes his orders from whoever the bossman is there.
- America was originally named after Amerigo Vensuela, a Hispanic mapmaker from Palamino, New Mexico, who drew the first map of North and South America. There are those who claim that Christopher Columbus is the discoverer of these lands, and the proof of this is that there are several places in both continents called Columbus, or Columbia. These people fail to take into account that there is a country in North America called America, and there is a country in South America called Venezuela. This proves that Amerigo is the true cartographic discoverer. Also, there are places called Jamestown and San Francisco in America, but nobody claims that James or Francis discovered America. Who were James and Francis, anyway?
- Usa is afraid of Belgium. However the U.S.A. (not to be mistaken with Usa) doesn't give a shit.
- They have a chimpanzee as a president. But the chimpanzee is actually a cyborg pirate from mars. Who happens to love chimps and is on a mission to destroy all non-chimp primates. Him taking the form of a chimp and loving chimps is purely coincidental.
- American tourists around the world are not really tourists but are actually all shapeshifting mutant secret-police, ensuring America continues to rule the world.
- The U.S.A is divided into two primary regions, Jesusland and Liberal Weenie World.
- The five chief ethnic groups of the U.S.A. are Indians, Pilgrims, Cowboys, Gangsters, and Rappers (also known as Jazz). The Indians were there first. Then came the Pilgrims. Cowboys happened when Pilgrims and Indians interbred. Gangsters came from Italy. Rappers came from Compton and Harlem.
- All Americans have their own guns. Each ethnic group is known for a particular kind of gun. Indians shoot bows and arrows. Pilgrims shoot muskets. Cowboys shoot revolvers. Gangsters shoot Tommy-guns. Rappers shoot 9mm automatic pistols. All of them shoot each other.
[edit] Regions of America
New Great Britain
Jesusland
Hollywood
[edit] A Short Tale about the Name
This country was in the begining a nonsense accumulation of people who has trouble connecting themselves.
So, after a lot of local wars, they agree... to do one war, north versus south. After that they have never done any war. They have lived in peace hundred of years. We all are very happy about it.
After this war, they agree in being a large country. So, to satisfy all people, they choose a long name. So long that they had to use only last word to refer to it everyday.
There is no problem about the fact that the continent where this country is placed has the same name they use to refer to their country everyday, because they don't know this fact.
[edit] Historical Problems
- Every school-child has learned that the Pilgrims came and settled in America; but what they didn't tell you is that the reason they were grim is that they didn't have pills. Hence, "Pill" "grim". This lack of pills has plagued the USA to the modern era and is a foundational problem in its incomprehensible health care system.
- After there were enough settlers in this new country, there was held the First and Second Continental Congresses. At that time, a name was selected for the new country. However, through a terrible error of transposition, the name of the country was called the United States instead of what was originally intended: the Untied States of America. This simple error has condemned working professionals from all walks of life to wear suits - until the recent modern invention of "casual Fridays" in some work places.
