Germanies

From Chakuwiki

The Germanies

Hemispheres:	Northern Hemisphere
Continent:	Europa
Capital city:	Berlin
Official language:	German [[{{{6}}}]]

The Germanies, also known as just Germany, is a country in Europa.

• It is divided into two regions: "good Germany" and "bad Germany". "Good Germany" is seperated from "bad Germany" by means of the"Berlin wall" which runs north-south through the city of Berlin and from there extends in a straight line towards the borders of the two Germanies.
• Though it is the "Berlin wall", it is directly connected to the chinese wall. It was part of the plan of bad Germany to annect entire Asia as the startphase for world domination.
• In things of security, every german has to be always able to prove that he is german. The most common way to do this is to carry a "Bratwurst" all the time, because every german knows, that a man with a Bratwurst MUST be a german. You can distinguish tourists and REAL germans by looking wether they carry a currywurst and a very good tasting "Reissdorf Klsch"-Beer.
• What mostly americans seem to favor is that a large part of Germany is called Bavaria (which is where people have nothing else to do than running round in the streets wearing leather shorts, yodeling and drinking beer out of large mugs) or Austria (which looks like a part of Bavaria anyway) or Switzerland (same as Austria but for the very very long "Alpenhorn" ... gotta see that, ladies).
• All Germans are obviously Nazis, just like the pope and Albert Einstein. That is, of course, written in a contract with god and therefore is the most brilliant scientist and the pope at any time a Nazi, no matter of nationality.
• Has the thinnest book in the world. (1000 years of german Humor)
• Die Germans sind also sehr gerne at dem Strand.
• Known to be not known for food. (except german food that nobody likes much)
  • Though through turkish influences you get to see many germans eating Doner Kebap recently. A food which was invented in germany. (No, not by germans. By Turk(ey)s.)
• And DJ MONZA is the most popular DJ of Germany.
• And they speak German, not Deutsch.
• Also sind the deutschen very erfahren in der usage des offenen Betriebssystems GNU/Linux.
• All German students must pass examinations in sauerbrauten and sauerkraut manufacture. Those who pass receive the designation of Sauerpuss.
• Contrary to popular belief, the German language is easy to master. All it takes is an elementary knowledge of numerology, rune-casting and 18th-century German epistemology. Failing that, you can always impress fellow German speakers by stringing three or more words together to make new ones, e.g. schadenfreudebitteachtungsein, which means "Hi."
• All Germans wear monocles and have pointy grey goatees, even the men.
• German scientists are all mad and always seek of new ways to rule or destroy the world.
  • They are all part of the aristorcracy and usually use the title "von" (like in "von Mller") to make them easily distinguishable from non german scientists. When in foreign countries their title of course is kept secret to not point to the fact that they are german. So when in the U.S. a Professor von Mller will call himself Professor Mller to puzzle investigators and divert them from his true motivations.
• The Best german Beer is not Reissdorf Kölsch (tastes like a kind of pee), it is Warsteiner.