From Chakuwiki
Belgium is the greatest country in the world and is located in Europa.
[edit] Politics and Culture
- Belgium has a matriarch.
- Belgium is divided into three factions: the Zattevriendjes, who purport that Zattevrienden is the greatest website from Belgium, the Wee-zed-ellers who purport that Wijfzonderlijf is the greatest website from Belgium, and the Verjimmers, who think that verjim.com is the greatest website. People outside Belgium believe verjim.com is the greatest website from Belgium. They are advised not to speak their views while visiting Belgium.
- Belgium is ruled by aliens from the planet Mars; Belgians have alien DNA which they try to distribute by infiltrating other countries.
- Belgium plans on destroying Usa, whose populace is made up of many gorillas and orangutangs.
- Belgium has idiot politicians, but Belgians are very intelligent.
- If you are a celebrity visiting Belgium and are being interviewed by a Belgian, be very careful to compliment them and tell them how glad and honored you are by having the privilege of staying in that great country of theirs, or be prepared to incur their horrible vengeance and unending sulkiness.
- If Frank Deboosere, the Belgian weatherman, says it's going to be sunny, it'll rain. When he says it's going to rain, it'll be sunny. But if Sabine Hagedoren, Belgium's weatherwoman gives the forecast, the average heterosexual male Belgian television viewer won't listen and will rather imagine her stripping on the screen.
- You cannot marry your mother though; any sexual relation with your mother has to remain a public secret (which is referred to as a "pubic secret").
- Belgium has the best beer in the world. In Belgium, one can (officially) drink beer from the age of 16 on, but it is expected that one stops drinking when getting ready for the coffin. Belgians will do anything to promote their beer abroad. They will make you believe that beer is good for you if you are thirsty and also a remedy if you have drunk too much. Leopold II sent Stanley to the Congo with crates of Belgian beer. Heineken, although marketed as such, is not really Belgian beer. It is a hyper-potent serum which, when mixed in a 60-10 ratio with solid sodium, will explode in a cloud of foul smelling green smoke.
[edit] Eating Habits
- Belgians are the inventors of chocolate. They love jam, especially strawberry jam.
- All waffles come from Belgium, including the famous Belgian Waffles, which is why they are so delicious. No waffles are eaten in public in Waffle, Belgium's capital city.
- Belgium has the best fries in the world. In Belgium, they put mayonnaise on their fries.
- Belgium likes to drink cappuccino
- Belgium is the only country in the world where Bill Gates got a cream pie in the face, although it is rumored his wife often gets creamed in the United States.
- Belgians eat horsemeat.
- "French fries" aren't French in origin. They come from Belgium.
- "French kissing" isn't French either. Belgians introduced the technique to France during the Kissing Era.
