- Funky Chinatown is a city in China.
- Funky Chinatown has some of the most incredibly evil-smelling puddles known to exist in the world.
- Funky Chinatown is filled with generous and toothless old men who will sell you their very wristwatch or metrocard if they feel you need it.
- Though in a roughly square shape, Funky Chinatown has four long, thin jutting branches, as though a giant 'X' was drawn over it on the map.
- Funky Chinatown should not be confused with Funky Chickentown which is outside of Chicago.