New Hampshire

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[edit] New Hampshire

New Hampshire is a state of the United States of America, in the region of New Great Britain.

  • New Hampshire is a lot like Vermont except it faces the right way up, and does not have laws.
  • Instead of government, social order is maintained by large dogs and old women with sharpened knitting needles.
  • New Hampshire has very hilly terrain; in fact, the entire mass is built on the slopes of a very large mountain known as Tha Mountain.
  • Everyone wears plad flannel shirts all the time.
  • The most prevalent automobile is the moose.
  • Every citizen of New Hampshire consumes at least 12lbs of marijuana per month. As a result, the normal weather of New Hampshire is a low, purple fog, except in the winter, when it is replaced by snow. Winter is approximately from September to June.
  • The major economic activities of New Hampshire are selling fireworks, liquor, and shooting things with shotguns.
  • New Hampshire has three miles of Atlantic shoreline, but it was moved 50 miles inland by Sir Walter Chumpshott in 1793 using the state's first railroad, and so the shoreline is completely landlocked.
  • New Hampshire's most distinguishing feature was the Old Man of the Mountain, which was destroyed when his children decided he could no longer live by himself up on The Mountain and sent him to a nursing home across state borders. Now, the OMOTM has been replaced in popularity by an animatronic talking statue of Ted Kennedy.










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