- According to Microsoft, Switzerland is somewhere in Eastern Europe
- The people who live in Switzerland claim to be Swiss. This is untrue. The Swiss people live in Swissistan. The people who live in Switzerland are, of course, Switzish.
- Switzerland is made entirely of German Chocolate, which is helpful when it comes time to make the famed Swiss Chocolate Liquor.
- They created the longest musical instrument (the alphorn: )
- Switzerland is a rich country, the buildings are made of gold
- Vibrators don't exist in Switzerland, if women want to masturbate, they use "the alphorn"
- Everyone in Switzerland knows at least five different ways to prepare cheese. All are delicious.
- The only animal living free in Switzerland are cows.
- Military service for males is compulsory. Upon reaching the age of 18, all men are issued a fondue set, a Swiss army knife and a Swatch. They are then sent abroad to serve a mandatory 2 year term as ski instructors.
- Swiss men have got the longest dicks on earth; as long as an alphorn.