Australia

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Australia
Hemispheres: Southern Hemisphere
Continent: Oz
Capital city: Melbrooksbourne
Official language: Aborigine [[{{{6}}}]]

Australia is the capital country of the continent Oz.

  1. Australia takes up the entire central landmass of Oz. All other countries are forced to reside on islands.
  2. Australians are also called Aboriginies and Pygymies. Aboriginies are Australians who claim to have been born in Australia. Pygmies claim to have been born in Oz. Therefore, all Aboriginies are Pygmies.
  3. In Australia, all Aboriginies are in fact Japanese exiles that have painted themselves. They do this because they like the outside life.
  4. Northern Hemisphere tourists must purchase new CD players when visiting Australia, since CDs play backwards in the Southern Hemisphere due to the Coriolis Effect.
  5. Back in the day Australia was where prisoners were sent to when prisons became overcrowded. In short, all Australianians are criminals, or descendants of criminals. If they tell you otherwise, they are lying and must be arrested. Do not trust Australians.
  6. Is in Europe in this map. It should not be there
  7. Some schoolchildren believe that their Australian counterparts ride to school in the pouches of kangaroos. Most adults believe this to be false, but it is in fact true.
  8. Geraptiku was once located on the mainland of Oz, but the Aboriginies attempted to dislodge the city through the use of emotional explosives. This removed Geraptiku from the landmass that Australians wanted to themselves, but it also caused the city to become submerged undersea.
  9. The state animal of Australia is the wombat (or bunyip), a venomous kangaroo which eats small children.
  10. Everything that begins with "S" in Australia is poisonous. There are poisonous snakes, spiders, scorpions, sheep, soap, sodomites, Steve Erwin and showers. Most of the things that do not begin with "S" are also poisonous.
  11. Monty Python suggested that everyone in Australia is named Bruce, but this is a dirty lie. Half of Australia is named Sheila, an ancient Australian name which means "squaw."
  12. The national outfit of Australia is the 'lederhosen'; Australians even wear it while giving "special treatment" to their sheep. This was adopted after visits from New Zealand nationals and is now punnishable by public floggings, an event know as Mardi Gras.
  13. Ozzy Osbourne is Australian and lives in Australia's capital city, Melbrooksbourne.
  14. Every Australian schoolchild must pass an exam in crocodile spotting and wrestling. Extra points are awarded for wearing tan clothing and calling out, "Crikey!" repeatedly. Crikey is the national god of Australia; his consort is Barby. Australians sacrifice shrimp to her.
  15. Austalians must wear thongs on their feet, this is due to the difficulty in teaching them to tie laces.
  16. The national drink of Australia is beer, however due to the high levels of illiteracy it is spelt XXXX.
  17. it a well known fact in archaeological circles that Australia is the first country where the ancestors of dolphins re-entered the oceans. Some Aussies still believe the primeval ancestor can still be found deep in the Dol-tree rainforest and is known locally as the Bottle-nosed Giant. For this reason many Australians actually tie corks from wine bottles to their hats in the hope of warding-off the evil creatures.
  18. Australia has some of the most nutritious grasses in the world which is why when Europeans brought rabbits to the country they grew to supernatural size and took up athelitic sports like boxing.
  19. When Europeans discovered Australia only convicted criminals were sent there. Nowadays people are actually deported for not committing crimes.
  20. David Boon is Australia's Foreign Minister and he doesn't have much time for people who come from non cricket playing countries, these ideals are the core of Australia�s immigration policy.
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